In God's hands

So in my very first post I mentioned some of the trials I have had to endure over the past year or so and I wanted to share with you a little about the amazing person that was my best friend, Devon and how I have managed to get through the horrific tragedy that was her death as well as the further loss of my God father and God brother and the loss of my incredibly beautiful Uncle Pat. This is going to be more personal than most of you want to get so if this is too raw for you, I warn you now to not go any further. But I am not writing this to be sad or to gain sympathy but to inspire each one of you so that if you are having a hard time in your life that you will know that this too shall pass.

Devon was born 23 years ago and immediately had to face her first challenge in life. When she arrived, she had troubles breathing, and had necrotic fingers and leg. The doctors and nurses weren't sure if she would make it. In fact, they said they would be surprised if she made it through the night. She immediately had to have the dead fingers and limb removed and went into surgery. Not only did she survive that first night, but she survived the next night and the next until one day she was allowed to be taken home and eventually to be taken off the respirator. But the battle didn't end there. For the rest of her life Devon would have to make countless trips to Shriner's Hospital for treatment and to be fitted with different prostheses for her leg. She would face the ridicule of classmates and neighborhood kids who picked on her for being different. As many of us know, a lot of us have a hard time embracing the abnormal and our fear of the unknown can cause us to be cruel and cold hearted while those means words would hurt her immensely, Devon learned to be strong because she was born a fighter. 

I met Devon my freshmen year of college. It wasn't the most normal of first encounters but it definitely was the most memorable. As my mama and I were moving things into my dorm room, a woman passed carrying a leg on her shoulder. My mama kind of just looked at her with this puzzled look on her face when the woman said "I bet you've never seen this before!" And Devon, being the spunky, outgoing woman she was, marched right up to me and my mother and introduced herself and said "Hi, I'm Devon! It looks like we're going to get close this year", little did we both know that close was an understatement. I ended up transferring at the end of that school year but the friendship Devon and I had formed together was the type that could last the distance. 

One day I got a call from Devon and she had this rather serious tone, which was very different from the usual. She had called to tell me that the doctor's had found a spot on her skin and they thought it might be cancer. They had performed a biopsy and she would know in a couple of days. At this point in time, Devon had formed a very strong relationship with God, she always had a good one but it went from good to on fire. She told me she knew that God had a plan for her and whatever that plan might be, she was ready to face it. When she called me a little while later, I knew right away what the news was going to be. Devon had cancer. "Cancer is just another bump in the road", Dev said, always the strong one as she comforted me while I broke down about her having cancer. And it was, just another bump in the road for Devon because to Devon nothing was impossible. She faced the cancer head on and with such strength and grace, it was truly awe inspiring. And when she learned the cancer had come back, she was willing to tackle it all over again with the same determination and courage as she always tackled any obstacle that stood in her way. Devon was always positive through all of life's adversities. She was the perpetual fighter, never, ever giving up when there was the opportunity to fight back. So she beat her cancer again. Because it was not in Devon's nature to give up.

 Not only was she a fighter though, but an amazing person. She had the a beautiful heart and the most amazing soul. She was always the first to come running when you needed a friend, always quick with a kind word or a comforting phrase even when she was the one who needed the comforting. She cherished all of her friends and family like they were gold and knew how to make each one of us feel so special and loved. Devon never realized just how special she truly was. That's part about what was so great about her. She didn't let her utter awesomeness get to her head, whether it was her beauty, her personality, or her incredible smarts, it's like she was unaware of it all. The one thing Devon was openly proud of though was her voice, man could she sing. She had that type of passion for music and singing that you could just see. It was dumbfounding that such an amazing voice could come out of such a little woman. When she would get on that stage, she would just light up the whole room. Every thing about her was just full of such a zest and passion for life, from her outstanding attitude to her academic drive to her passion for singing, Devon didn't just dream, she dreamed big and she wasn't afraid to get out there and chase them. 

Devon was and is my hero. She inspired me to chase my own dreams and to let myself be passionate about something. She helped bring me out of my own world that I had become so wrapped up in and showed me the beauty in life and what being a good person is all about. Life isn't about the trials we have to face but it is how we face those trials that really matters. Life isn't about the people who hurt us but about how we rise above the cruelty that's in this world, never letting them drag us down, so that we might show the world what love and compassion is all about. 

So now, when I could easily allow myself to sink into this hole that has been left on this earth from the loss of so many dear, dear friends and family members this past 18 months, I have to be strong, to live my life to the fullest possible and to always remember the lessons that Devon taught me: to always put my faith in God even when I don't understand his plan, to never let anything bring me down because I always have the control to change it, to never give up even when it seems to be too hard to fight, to never hold back when it comes to helping others and most importantly, to always put myself out there in all facets of life but most importantly, in love and friendship because without having friends and people to love, where else would we be in this world? I was so blessed to have had the opportunity to know Devon, some people leave footprints, but Devon, she left a crater.

The next time you are feeling down or like your life is too much too handle or just isn't going anywhere, remember you have the power to change your circumstances. You can put on an attitude of gratitude, count the blessings you do have and go tackle whatever problems the world throws at you. If Devon can survive being born prematurely and surviving off a respirator her first weeks of life, having countless amounts of surgery, learning to walk with a prosthetic leg, facing a life time of ridicule and having cancer TWICE, you can handle whatever life throws your way too. It's all about how we approach life. So never give up hope, and when all seems dark, don't be afraid to put it all in God's hands.