In God's hands

So in my very first post I mentioned some of the trials I have had to endure over the past year or so and I wanted to share with you a little about the amazing person that was my best friend, Devon and how I have managed to get through the horrific tragedy that was her death as well as the further loss of my God father and God brother and the loss of my incredibly beautiful Uncle Pat. This is going to be more personal than most of you want to get so if this is too raw for you, I warn you now to not go any further. But I am not writing this to be sad or to gain sympathy but to inspire each one of you so that if you are having a hard time in your life that you will know that this too shall pass.

Devon was born 23 years ago and immediately had to face her first challenge in life. When she arrived, she had troubles breathing, and had necrotic fingers and leg. The doctors and nurses weren't sure if she would make it. In fact, they said they would be surprised if she made it through the night. She immediately had to have the dead fingers and limb removed and went into surgery. Not only did she survive that first night, but she survived the next night and the next until one day she was allowed to be taken home and eventually to be taken off the respirator. But the battle didn't end there. For the rest of her life Devon would have to make countless trips to Shriner's Hospital for treatment and to be fitted with different prostheses for her leg. She would face the ridicule of classmates and neighborhood kids who picked on her for being different. As many of us know, a lot of us have a hard time embracing the abnormal and our fear of the unknown can cause us to be cruel and cold hearted while those means words would hurt her immensely, Devon learned to be strong because she was born a fighter. 

I met Devon my freshmen year of college. It wasn't the most normal of first encounters but it definitely was the most memorable. As my mama and I were moving things into my dorm room, a woman passed carrying a leg on her shoulder. My mama kind of just looked at her with this puzzled look on her face when the woman said "I bet you've never seen this before!" And Devon, being the spunky, outgoing woman she was, marched right up to me and my mother and introduced herself and said "Hi, I'm Devon! It looks like we're going to get close this year", little did we both know that close was an understatement. I ended up transferring at the end of that school year but the friendship Devon and I had formed together was the type that could last the distance. 

One day I got a call from Devon and she had this rather serious tone, which was very different from the usual. She had called to tell me that the doctor's had found a spot on her skin and they thought it might be cancer. They had performed a biopsy and she would know in a couple of days. At this point in time, Devon had formed a very strong relationship with God, she always had a good one but it went from good to on fire. She told me she knew that God had a plan for her and whatever that plan might be, she was ready to face it. When she called me a little while later, I knew right away what the news was going to be. Devon had cancer. "Cancer is just another bump in the road", Dev said, always the strong one as she comforted me while I broke down about her having cancer. And it was, just another bump in the road for Devon because to Devon nothing was impossible. She faced the cancer head on and with such strength and grace, it was truly awe inspiring. And when she learned the cancer had come back, she was willing to tackle it all over again with the same determination and courage as she always tackled any obstacle that stood in her way. Devon was always positive through all of life's adversities. She was the perpetual fighter, never, ever giving up when there was the opportunity to fight back. So she beat her cancer again. Because it was not in Devon's nature to give up.

 Not only was she a fighter though, but an amazing person. She had the a beautiful heart and the most amazing soul. She was always the first to come running when you needed a friend, always quick with a kind word or a comforting phrase even when she was the one who needed the comforting. She cherished all of her friends and family like they were gold and knew how to make each one of us feel so special and loved. Devon never realized just how special she truly was. That's part about what was so great about her. She didn't let her utter awesomeness get to her head, whether it was her beauty, her personality, or her incredible smarts, it's like she was unaware of it all. The one thing Devon was openly proud of though was her voice, man could she sing. She had that type of passion for music and singing that you could just see. It was dumbfounding that such an amazing voice could come out of such a little woman. When she would get on that stage, she would just light up the whole room. Every thing about her was just full of such a zest and passion for life, from her outstanding attitude to her academic drive to her passion for singing, Devon didn't just dream, she dreamed big and she wasn't afraid to get out there and chase them. 

Devon was and is my hero. She inspired me to chase my own dreams and to let myself be passionate about something. She helped bring me out of my own world that I had become so wrapped up in and showed me the beauty in life and what being a good person is all about. Life isn't about the trials we have to face but it is how we face those trials that really matters. Life isn't about the people who hurt us but about how we rise above the cruelty that's in this world, never letting them drag us down, so that we might show the world what love and compassion is all about. 

So now, when I could easily allow myself to sink into this hole that has been left on this earth from the loss of so many dear, dear friends and family members this past 18 months, I have to be strong, to live my life to the fullest possible and to always remember the lessons that Devon taught me: to always put my faith in God even when I don't understand his plan, to never let anything bring me down because I always have the control to change it, to never give up even when it seems to be too hard to fight, to never hold back when it comes to helping others and most importantly, to always put myself out there in all facets of life but most importantly, in love and friendship because without having friends and people to love, where else would we be in this world? I was so blessed to have had the opportunity to know Devon, some people leave footprints, but Devon, she left a crater.

The next time you are feeling down or like your life is too much too handle or just isn't going anywhere, remember you have the power to change your circumstances. You can put on an attitude of gratitude, count the blessings you do have and go tackle whatever problems the world throws at you. If Devon can survive being born prematurely and surviving off a respirator her first weeks of life, having countless amounts of surgery, learning to walk with a prosthetic leg, facing a life time of ridicule and having cancer TWICE, you can handle whatever life throws your way too. It's all about how we approach life. So never give up hope, and when all seems dark, don't be afraid to put it all in God's hands.

Where were you when the world stopped turning?

I am having a hard time believing that it has been 10 years from that horrific September morning. It's been a whole decade but the memory of that day still remains so fresh in my mind. I remember how the teachers were all in a daze and were trying to shield us students from any images until they knew what was really going on. They gathered my whole grade of about 60 students into the room above the church and told us that there had been an attack and explained that planes had been hijacked and two of them had flown into the World Trade Centers. We all sat there in shock, waiting for the meaning of those words to sink in. It wasn't until they pulled aside a friend of mine who's dad was a pilot to explain to her that he was okay, that the reality of the absolute magnitude of loss we as a nation were about to endure together hit and we all started to cry. Most of the students went on with their school day but when my mama showed up in the middle of the day with this look of total fear on her face, my sisters and I knew something was seriously wrong. My mama pulled us out of school to tell us that my sister's Godfather, Mike, was supposed to have boarded a plane at the Dulles Airport to fly to California that morning. That same plane later crashed into the Pentagon where all its passengers and the 5 men who hijacked it were killed, as well as 125 people that were in the building. We had not heard from him and weren't sure if he was alive. Miraculously though, Mike had not boarded the plane that morning. Instead he had taken a different flight and was forced to land in Texas after an alert for all inbound flights to be grounded. The phone lines were jammed because of the millions of phone calls being placed that day so when Mike finally got through to his wife Jo we were all so relieved. I truly believe God had a hand in protecting Mike that day. On a day full of such tragedy that left such a crater of loss and pain, having this small but wonderful moment of hope was such a blessing.

The way the American people rallied around one another is incredible and fills me with such a sense of pride and honor to call this great country my home. My thoughts and prayers are with all those who lost someone. May we never forget the lives lost, the courage and bravery of those men and women who risked it all to saves the lives of others and those who continue to serve and protect our country to this day. God bless the USA.

You can find so many tributes to September 11th but the above two videos really touch me all the way to the core of my soul. Please watch and remember that we are all in this together, united as one nation under God. 

Budget Friendly Baby Shower Gift

 If you are one of my friends and family members (or even my poor, unsuspecting boyfriend), you have probably fallen victim to my "thrifty" (read college budget friendly) ideas of gift giving and have received some form of craft as a present for whatever occasion allows me to get those creative juices flowing and give you some gift you will probably never use but that I had tons of fun making and put way too much thought into (and that's really what counts right? or so my Mama always told me).

Which leads me to the next series of posts. I have completed numerous projects over the past few years and have decided to do a little back tracking (since my super busy nursing student schedule leaves me very little free time) and post some already finished projects along with some how-to's and of course, pictures! YAY VISUALS! This first project was a gift I gave my amazing friend Jessica (and her hubby) at her baby shower for Peyton (who is not so little anymore.... She's crawling!! I still can't believe it!). Jessica and I have been friends for a few years now and she is such a genuinely kind and caring person that I wanted to give her something that meant more than the standard onesies and baby blanket (unless you have time to make a baby blanket which I didn't so....) I decided to find out what the colors and theme of the nursery were going to be and after finding out pink and green (which my inner Lilly lover adores) and tulips (which happens to be my favorite flower) I decided to take a trip to the local craft store (read: hobby lobby).

I came out armed with the following supplies:

1 Unfinished Wood shadow box

1 Unfinished Wood Letter P (in the girliest style I could find)

2 Unfinished Wood Tulips

3 small bottles of acrylic paint in pink, green and white

1 piece of sand paper (if desired)

1 beautiful, pink polka dot pressed paper (found in the scrapbook section)

Extra glue sticks (just in case I didn't already have a million of these at home)

The total cost for all my supplies was $5.00. Everything I needed was 1/2  off that day! Gotta love a bargain!

Other supplies needed:

Glue gun

scissors

paint brush of choice (I used a foam brush and a smaller synthetic hair brush for the details)

Ribbon (if desired)

When I got home, I lay out some plastic sheeting on the kitchen table and went to town. 

Step 1: Remove the back and the glass from the shadow box (as seen above). You could buy any shadow box to do this but I wanted mine to be more homemade and I didn't want to take the extra time to sand down an already finished box.

Step 2: Using  the back of the box, trace the exact size of the box on the back of the scrapbook paper and cut it out. Then using your glue gun (or any other craft glue), adhere the paper to the back of the shadow box backing (Where the baby angels are in the picture above)

Step 3: Paint the entire box white making sure to not over fill the area the glass should be in. You could also tape the glass off with painter's tape if you prefer but I'm a mess 99.9% of the time so it was in my best interest to just remove the whole thing. Let dry completely. Add 2-3 more coats, waiting for each coat to dry, until the paint is even and no spots show through. 

Step 4 (optional): I wanted to make the frame look loved, so next I sanded down some of the edges and applied a wash of green paint. A wash is when you dilute the paint with water and apply over the area you want the color. Then take a rag and wipe the area down to leave a vintage feel. Allow to dry completely

Step 5: While the paint is drying on the shadow box, gather your wooden letter and tulips and paint the first coat. Allow to dry between coats). I painted the letter and the stem of the flowers green and the actual tulip pink. 

Step 6: Decorate the letter with whatever pattern suits your fancy. I have a thing for polka dots so I painted white polka dots on top of the green with a thin brush.

Step 7: As you can see in the picture above, the stems on the tulips are very long. Cut the stems down on the tulips to the size desired. I played around with how I wanted to the finished product to look before I made the final cut. The stems are pretty thin and cut easily with a pair of scissors. Tie a ribbon around the stems if desired. I used a 1/8 inch pink satin ribbon and tied it in a neat bow.

Step 8: Touch ups! Make sure all the separate pieces are finished and that no spots are showing! Touch up any goofs with paint.

Step 9: The fun part! Assemble all the pieces together using hot glue. I glued the painted letter on top of the scrapbook paper frame back that we had set aside to cool earlier. Then I cleaned up the glass to make sure there weren't any finger prints inside and put the glass in and  the back on. After that I glued the two now dry tulips onto the predetermined locations.

And, voila... a custom made piece of art for the baby's nursery. 

I took the time  to write a message to sweet Peyton on the back letting her know how much I looked forward to meeting her and watching her two amazing parents raise her. She's too little to realize this yet but she is in such good hands. I am truly blessed just to know Jess and Greg and I love watching their family grow! 

And finally... the moment you have all been waiting for... I have moved a grand total of 26 times! That's more moves than years I've been alive! Insanity right? Grant it, 3 of those moves were our cabins in Wisconsin but all the rest were houses my parents have owned (aka my permanent residence) and the places I have lived in college (aka my mailing address) which varies from dorms, to my sorority house to numerous apartment complexes! I'm surprised I don't have instability issues. Which means... the winner is... CAROLYN! Expect your gold star in the mail! I'll  have to come up with another craft idea and mail it to you!

My next craft related post will be two-fold... a baby boy version of the shadow box idea from above and a surprise craft! Get excited! I know I am! 

Confessions of a Craftaholic

Hi, my name is Jessica and I'm a craftaholic (YIKES, that was scary to admit!). Is there some 12 step program for craft addicts? If so I need to enter one, IMMEDIATELY! I live in a town home with three other fabulously wonderful and beautiful roommates and my craft projects have taken over the apartment. I spend most of my free time either doing crafts or searching for new craft ideas. Speaking of which...  Have y'all heard of craftgawker.com or pinterest.com? If you answered yes, you are welcome to join my craftaholic therapy group held monthly at michael's and hobby lobby (and sometimes even those adorable thrift stores and antique shops in the little town square! OH MY GOLLY I get excited just thinking about them!!) Ok, breathe. If you have not heard of them... we are no longer friends... ok, not really but you need to go check them out when you have time RIGHT NOW. What are friends for but to pass along their secrets to procrastination success? :) I practically drool all over my keyboard just browsing these sites for my craft ambitions and inspirations. I spend hours of my life wasting away in front of a computer screen just in awe of all these incredible craft ideas. Pinterest.com doesn't just have crafts though. It also has decor, fashion, accessories, beauty tips, organization methods, recipes, quotes, anything you could ever want and more! And it doesn't end there, you can create different boards to pin your new found ideas, inspirations or beauty know-hows onto and keep them forever! Plus, if you happen to be browsing the internet on your own, say with Google, your favorite blogs or even Stumbleupon, you can literally pin what you come across right onto your pinterest boards from the safety of your own toolbar! GENIUS! I am obsessed in L.O.V.E! As if they couldn't get more clever, you have to be invited to it. You can either submit an invitation request or have a friend invite you, but until then the site is exclusive to members only. Talk about a great marketing ploy, everyone wants to be apart of an exclusive, members-only club! (Especially, when there's no membership fees!).

A little introduction

WARNING: before you go any further I must warn you that I am a total cheese ball and very, very RANDOM! Seriously ya'll... I'm a bit goofy and so is my sense of humor. You've been forewarned :) 

Just because I've always been an ambitious person and because I secretly have hopes that my blog will be read by not only my friends and family but maybe by STRANGERS (DANGER?) too... I'm going to take the time to introduce myself all nicey nice like...

Let's start at the very beginning (that's a very good place to start)

I was born and raised in Virginia right up to my middle school years. I would say I had a very pleasant childhood filled with plenty of love, laughter and imagination. I'm a bit of a dreamer and spent a lot of my time growing up playing make believe and dress up. You could pretty much always find my closest friends and I in my tree house (which really was a big wooden "house" on my amazing swing set my parents had built when our house was first built) or in the woods pretending to always be whatever was our favorite movie of the time... Native Americans (Pocahontas), Fairies (Fern Gully), Witches (Hocus Pocus), Princess (Any Disney Princess Movie but I was partial to the Little Mermaid which of course led to being mermaids in the pool DUH!), etc. etc. I'm sure you get the point. I had an amazing group of friends but my best friends were my little sister, cousin Tiffany and best buds since diapers friend Ben (who was repeatedly forced to don a dress despite his protests, my apologies to any side effects that may have had on your mental and emotional well being).  We moved a lot while we lived in Virginia but it always was for the good of the family and usually had something to do with keeping us in a good school district. We spent long, lazy summers in our family cabin in Wisconsin visiting my Daddy's side of the family and our winter breaks in Florida visiting my Mama's side. My parents worked hard and gave me and my three sisters every opportunity imaginable. Don't let me fool you though, I wasn't always this grateful of the blessings that my parents and God had given me.

ENTER MY MIDDLE SCHOOL (and, high school) YEARS (Insert Jaws Themed Music Here)
Before middle school, my parents decided to move us to Florida. My mama grew up there and we (being my parents) decided it would be the best move for the family. So down to Florida we went, where we moved to a coastal town with a helping of Southern traditions, a side of the tacky tourists (read: snow birds or dare I say it... yankees) and a dash (ok.. more like a heap) of beach bums tropical paradise.  We quickly learned that the school systems (at this time) weren't up to the standards we were used to and my parents jumped the public school ship and put us in *gasp* private school. My mama, being an educator, was always pro-public school but when our learning was being hindered she was the first woman overboard. My first year at the new school wasn't so bad but once middle school started all HADES broke lose and I was miserable (and absolutely rotten). The torture I put my parents through the next couple (few..? ok, ok, decade? maybe not that much, but you get the point) years of my life is loathsome, absolutely unforgivable, and yet they've forgiven me... and even LOVE me (see, I have AMAZING PARENTS). You get the basic idea... it wasn't until I left that school, switched back to public school half way through high school and met some life changing friends that that began to change. My junior year, my dear friend Emily started encouraging me to go to youth group with her and it was through her that I first learned the love of Jesus. I can't begin to tell you how grateful I am that God brought her into my life... but I digress... I wish I could tell you that my life was changed immediately but it wasn't. I'm stubborn. ( I get that from my Mama's side :)  I fought to remain in my darkness for a long time, TOO long. But anyways that takes us way too far into the future and we're still talking high school here... Anyways, while living in Florida we still moved a bunch! A WHOLE BUNCH. Always for the family, of course (or maybe at some point it may have been because my Mama has a little bit of a fickle streak in her at times, just maybe). The last time (in Florida, or so I thought) was my sophomore year of high school and We lived there until I graduated high school and went off to COLLEGE!! (That's 3 WHOLE years... which is a long time in my family :P)

Yay, college...

I started off at the University of Florida. My freshmen year was pretty rocky, I had a boyfriend back home who was very bad for me and who kept me from being the awesome (toot! toot!) person I am today and really from meeting my real potential. I did, however, make some amazing friends that year and joined a great sorority. At the end of that year though... my parents thought I should leave all the bad behind and start fresh... so drum roll please.... WE MOVED! Are you shocked?  Really? I thought I gave you enough foreshadowing for that one... I applied to Clemson University and upon receiving my acceptance letter, my parents decided to move the whole family (little sister and all) to South Carolina. For the past 4 years, I have been letting all the bad in my life go and opening my heart to and pouring all my hopes and dreams in God. It's been a long journey but I can finally say I am at a place in my life where I am so immensely happy. It took me awhile but I finally have decided that I want to be a nurse. For the past two years I have been working on getting into a nursing program and now that I'm finally in it I have to admit... it's love. L.O.V.E. LOVE. I love it. It is everything I hoped it would be and more. I have a wonderful circle of friends, a loving and supportive boyfriend, a truly amazing family and most importantly, a strong faith.  

Which brings me to the present.... 

The past few months have been a challenge, I lost my best friend, Devon, my God father, Terry and my God brother, Robert all to car accidents. These people were huge pillars in my life and really helped mold me to be the person I am today. Devon was the bravest person I knew. She was a fighter and such an inspiration. She always lived each day with such purpose and was full of such love and laughter and had the MOST beautiful voice I've ever heard. Robert was my God brother but was more like a real brother to me. He had this Hollywood smile that could light up a whole room. I grew up babysitting and nanny-ing for him and his two siblings and we were always super, super close. Terry was my father's best friend and my role model. He had overcome so much adversity in his life and  always was full of such kind words and good advice. I never stayed with a boyfriend if I knew Terry didn't like him (my boyfriend passed the test so I'm pretty sure he's a keeper!). He taught me so much but the one thing I thing he taught me that I value the most is to have an attitude of gratitude. It has been a long hard road, and the past few months have been a true test of my faith, and I'm proud to say I have come out on the other side swinging (and smiling). My parents just moved BACK to Florida, my baby sister just completed her first year of college and moved back to Florida with them, my two older sisters have given us three extremely adorable nephews (ages 4, 2 and 1), I have a great apartment and even better roomies, and I'm working hard daily to chase down my dreams and be the person God intended me to be. Everything is looking up and I couldn't begin to be more grateful for this blessed life of mine. 

P.S. If you can guess how many times I've moved in my life... I will give you a gold star! Ok... maybe I won't... but you never know!  Answer to be revealed in my next post :)